It was a turning point in my life.
A fork in the road with two very different end destinations.
The path I knew God was leading me down was not the easy one. In fact, it would most likely break my heart.
Would I choose yielding to God over my own emotions?
Little did I know, but the future of my family was at stake…
The beginning of an end…
One of the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make occurred in my early twenties. I’d been dating someone for five years, but had grown increasingly uncomfortable in the relationship.
It made absolutely no sense to either one of us. There were no major red flags.
He was a great person. We had a lot in common. We got along well with each other’s families and shared many of the same friends.
And we were in love. (Although even at the time, I had the sneaking suspicion it wasn’t the kind of love you wrote home about.)
An engagement was the logical next step.
Yet after several years, we just couldn’t seem to take the leap towards marriage. As we chose to continue dating anyway, I began to feel more unsettled by the day.
The absence of peace…
When those uncomfortable feelings first began, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was happening.
But I knew something wasn’t right.
My insides were in turmoil. I had trouble sleeping. I couldn’t focus.
The idea of being alone with my thoughts was terrifying. I ran from stillness because the quiet seemed to torment me.
Those emotions were present night and day. I couldn’t escape them or drown them out.
As time wore on, I began to realize the root of my problem.
The quiet, ever present peace that I’d always taken for granted was missing. The peace that comes from knowing God and following where he leads.
And I knew the reason for its absence.
God seemed to (not so subtly) be telling me this relationship was no longer right. And if I would have yielded to God right then and there, I could’ve saved myself a lot of turmoil.
Read “18 Verses on the Benefits of Obedience to God“ for another reminder on the blessings of following God.
Just let me write my own happy ending…
But I can be fairly stubborn. And I knew ending the relationship would be extremely hard.
After all, this person had been an integral part of my life throughout college. He’d been a source of stability when starting my first job and a rock of support as I stepped out into the real world.
We knew each other well. We cared deeply for each other.
And I think we’d both just assumed that we’d spend the rest of our lives together.
So, I refused to take what seemed to be the more difficult path and decided to pray for God to change His mind.
But He had a different idea.
Yielding to God’s plan…
I spent the next several months trying to negotiate with God. I begged for Him to see things my way.
While in hindsight it seems a bit ridiculous, my twenty-something-self just couldn’t seem to let go.
I believed we’d invested too much and I couldn’t imagine life without him. I’d experienced far too many other dead-end relationships. It was my turn for a happy ending.
But deep down, I knew God’s best for me wasn’t living in this unsettled, miserable state.
One particular moment stands out like it was yesterday. I had escaped to my bathroom with the shower running so my roommates couldn’t hear my sobs.
I begged God to remove the weight I was feeling. To return my peace and allow me to stay in the relationship.
But he said no.
It took several more months of misery until I finally accepted that yielding to God’s plan was the only way to regain peace.
Even though I didn’t understand. Even though it was hard. And even though it most assuredly guaranteed a broken heart…
Read “When One Step of Faith Changes Everything“ for more on trusting God.
The happy ending I never saw coming…
It’s not always possible to look back on a difficult decision and understand God’s leading. But in this case, it became crystal clear several years later.
You see, what I didn’t know on that fateful day in that tiny bathroom, God knew all along. In a few more years (and unfortunately a few more heartbreaks) later, I would meet my husband.
He would appear on the scene and sweep me off my feet. The beginning of our love story would be about as close to a fairy tale as real life can get.
He would be exactly what I needed and more. And he was completely different than anything I’d ever experienced.
All of a sudden, I had the kind of love they write movies about. The forever kind.
A love I couldn’t even comprehend as I stood at that fork in the road several years before.
Not one of my previous relationships could hold a candle to what God had in store for my future.
Many times, I’ve looked back and recognized I could have missed it all by settling for second best.
Missed my very own fairy tale. The love of a lifetime.
My best friend. Our precious children.
Simply yielding that one decision to God allowed him to write a story better than I ever could have imagined.
Recognizing God’s providence…
I’ve thanked God time and again for his patient persistence. I’ve been repeatedly humbled by the way his gentle hand protected my future.
He already had my happily ever after figured out. But he knew that all those years ago, I was incapable of seeing beyond the present moment.
So, he gently persevered in his quest to lead me down the better path.
Yet the decision was still mine to make. Which road to travel was up to me. I could have married that college boyfriend. I might have even been happy.
But I never would have have experienced the rich and full life I have now.
As for that past relationship? We didn’t keep in touch, but I heard through a mutual acquaintance that he’s married with children of his own.
I would bet his story sounds similar to mine. God had a perfect plan for him too.
Read “A Journey to Surrender“ for more on submitting to God.
Yielding to God can be hard, but it’s always a sure bet…
Each of us have a unique story. But most have experienced some kind of proverbial fork in the road.
A difficult decision. An impossible choice.
One path that appears to lead God’s way. And another one that seems more sensible or less painful.
But taking the easy road doesn’t bring peace.
And rest assured there’s a reason for that!
Yielding to God when it’s hard requires a tremendous amount of trust and faith. Following him when you don’t understand is confusing.
Trusting his plan when it doesn’t seem to match up with yours can be scary.
Yet we can take comfort in knowing He sees the bigger picture. He knows where each road leads. And makes his choice with your best possible destination in mind.
God’s plan for your life probably won’t look like you expect. You might not always understand his ways. Following his lead will sometimes be difficult.
But trust him with your story.
I know from experience.
He can write it better than you.
Do you have a story about yielding a difficult decision to God? How did it turn out? Please share in the comments below!
Leave a Reply