There are times I find myself in this unbalanced state. One minute I’m completely confident in my parenting abilities. The very next second I’m doubting every single thing that comes out of my mouth.
I can be my own worst critic and find it difficult to go easy on myself. Yet grace for moms is so important.
Especially during the years with “littles,” when it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and weary.
Keeping a promise…
Last summer I made a commitment to take my daughters to our community pool and practice learning how to swim at least once a week. They, of course, loved it.
On the other hand, I would have been content to sit in a lounge chair the entire time! It was the first summer they were old enough to be in the water without me right by their side. I had to admit—it was heavenly.
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to teach a young child how to swim from the sidelines. So at least once every trip I forced myself into the water with them.
Need mom life help or hope? Check out these “5 Inspiring Blogs with Encouragement for Moms.”
A frustrating lesson…
On one of those days, I was particularly tired and the water was not particularly warm. To say I wasn’t looking forward to the weekly swim lesson was an understatement.
But I climbed in with my 5-year-old and did my best to keep my teeth from chattering.
She was excited and struggling to focus. Much like me, she wasn’t a natural in the water. But she was trying her best to practice all her new moves.
I found myself increasingly frustrated as she splashed about and made seemingly little progress. I did my best to be patient and somehow salvage the lesson. Yet by the time we were done I felt completely defeated.
She had done nothing wrong—it was all me and my attitude.
After doing a few additional laps with my three-year-old, I crawled out of the water. I made my way over to my chair.
Read “How to Recover From an Epic Mom Fail“ for tips on learning from parenting mistakes.
An unexpected conversation…
We had the pool to ourselves that day, with the exception of one lady apparently there to relax and enjoy the quiet. Her chair was placed near mine.
I sat down quietly, ashamed and sure she must be thinking I was the worst mom ever.
She smiled at me and said, “I have to ask you a question. Are you a swim instructor? Because the way you handled your daughter out there was amazing.”
I sat for a few seconds in stunned silence and then burst out laughing.
“Well, thank you” I told her, “but I am definitely not a swim instructor. Just a mom who wasn’t quite at her best today.”
She went on to tell me that she had been watching the whole time. My patience and the interactions I had with both my daughters while in the water had made an impression on her.
She told me how encouraging it was to see someone parent that way because it was so different from what she usually sees.
We ended up talking for quite a long time as my daughters played happily.
She opened up about her own life. We discussed the struggles her grown daughter was currently experiencing and how they were affecting her granddaughter.
She repeatedly said how much it inspired her to see a mom interact with her kids in such a positive and affirming way.
Read “The Importance of Rest“ for more on balancing mom life.
A different perspective…
As I sat there talking with her, I realized the negative perception I’d had of my time in the water was mostly in my own head.
Even though I had felt extremely frustrated and irritated, in reality, I had done a decent job of not reflecting that in the lessons with my daughters.
My perspective of my parenting that day was of utter failure, but this complete stranger saw things differently.
From my muffed-up swim lesson, she drew encouragement and hope. And she had unknowingly lifted my spirits and boosted my confidence.
She provided a much-needed reminder that while I do make plenty of mistakes, I also do a lot of things right.
I’d gotten into the pool even though I didn’t want too. I had maintained my cool (for the most part) even though I felt like losing it.
My daughters might not be swimming any better that day than they were the day before. But they still had a great time. Yes, there were some moments of defeat, but overall the day had been a success.
I just needed to see things from someone else’s vantage point.
Grace for all moms…
There have been other times I’ve been on the receiving end of an encouraging word. Those experiences remind me I have the power to pass along that kind of grace for other moms.
When I see a mom trying her best but with a look of defeat in her eyes. Or a mom doing an exceptional job that maybe no one has noticed. In those times, I have an opportunity to make a difference.
I know from experience—the unexpected words of one kind stranger can change everything.
Grace for moms is so essential! Do you have a story about a time when you were inspired by another mom? Or maybe you were the one to deliver an encouraging word. Please share in the comments below!
I love this story! We have so many opportunities to encourage the moms around us and I know I don’t take advantage of that opportunity very often. Making a resolution to do so more often – thank you for the inspiration!
You’re welcome Bethany! And I completely agree. It’s such an easy thing to offer a word of encouragement, yet I so often let the moment slip by. I’m right there with you in committing to do a better job of taking advantage of those opportunities!