I discovered the importance of prayer in marriage long before I was actually married. In fact, the power of prayer was hard at work for my husband and I before we even met.
We just didn’t know it yet.
Two very different stories…
I didn’t meet my husband until we were both in our late twenties. In the years leading up to our love story, we were on two very different paths.
I finished college and decided to pursue a teaching career in the inner city. It was far from the comforts of home and most of my support system.
Yet I knew it was exactly where I was supposed to be.
The job was demanding and the hours were long. The emotional and mental stress was higher than anything I’d ever experienced.
But I made new friends and found a place to live. I worked hard at my new job and learned how to adapt to the challenging environment.
Going from small town country girl, to big city teacher was a difficult transition. But I slowly adjusted to my new life.
And I leaned on my faith more than I ever had.
At the same time, my future husband was only a handful of miles away. This city that was new to me, he had always called home.
He’d started working full-time at a young age and was already highly successful. Popular and confident would describe him well. He drove nice cars, wore nice clothes, and lived in a beautiful home.
He had a lot going for him.
But he didn’t know Jesus.
And while things looked good on the outside, he knew deep down there was something missing.
Yet he had no idea what. So, he tried to fill that emptiness with all the worldly pleasures this life has to offer.
One thing in common…
While our paths were moving in very different directions, there was one thing we both had in common.
Loneliness.
We were ready to settle down. Weary with the dating game and looking for something more permanent.
And you couldn’t fault either of us with lack of effort! We’d been in serious relationships. We weren’t afraid of commitment.
But none of those relationships had been quite right.
Yet.
Read more about what I learned on the journey to find my husband at “Waiting with Patience on God’s Timing.”
An interesting idea…
During college I had this amazingly outgoing friend who wasn’t the least bit concerned with the dating scene.
She was taking full advantage of college life. Enjoying the newfound freedom of living on her own and completely open to the world of opportunity before her. She pretty much made friends everywhere she went.
So, it took me by surprise when I found out she prayed regularly for her future spouse. She didn’t even seem to be looking for a date, let alone a husband!
But, she let me in on a little secret. While she wasn’t too concerned about Mr. Right at the moment, she knew that would change someday.
Even though she had no idea who he was or when they would meet, she believed it was never too early to start praying for him. She knew the importance of prayer in marriage. Even if she wouldn’t see answers to those prayers for a long time.
Her words gave me something to think about. I asked God often to help me find a spouse. But I’d never once thought of actually praying for him in real time.
Praying for his current situation. Praying for his faith, his career, his protection, his success. While it was a new idea for me, I had to admit that it made sense.
Why wouldn’t I want the man I was going to marry to be covered in prayer? And who better to pray for him than his future wife? Even if she didn’t know his name yet!
(Side note: That college friend ended up marrying a fantastic guy. They have four beautiful children. Turned out her prayers payed off!)
Read about another powerful way to strengthen your marriage at “Invest in Your Marriage with Regular Getaways.”
A new plan…
So, I began to pray for my someday husband. I’ll admit, I didn’t talk to God about it as much as I should have.
There were seasons when I forgot. Or times when I was so frustrated with the dating scene that I couldn’t bring myself to pray about marriage.
But I never forgot my friend’s advice. And throughout my twenties, I put that advice into practice countless times.
Little did I know how much those prayers were needed.
Wise words…
During that time, I was part of too many weddings to even remember. To say I was tired of watching everyone around me walk down the aisle would be an understatement.
When I voiced my feelings after another friend or family member tied the knot, my mom would always say that my future spouse must not be ready yet. While I took some comfort in her words, I also found them extremely frustrating.
Why couldn’t God just get him ready? After all, I’d been waiting quite a while for my own happily ever after. And this timeline was definitely not what I had planned.
But it turned out my mom was right.
Because during those years when I was praying for my future husband, he was facing some of this darkest moments. As I asked God to protect, preserve, and guide my future spouse, he was fighting the battle of his life.
I’ve mentioned before it’s his story to tell. (Check out that post here.) And that’s still true. But to tie this all together, here’s the big picture…
After years of searching for purpose and significance in all the wrong places, he finally hit rock bottom. Life had left him broken. Lost and with little hope.
That’s where he found Jesus. And there his new story began.
It wasn’t easy, but with God’s help he slowly turned his life around.
His testimony is truly a movie-worthy script.
Throughout that entire time, neither of us knew that I was praying for him. But God did. And I’ll never believe the timing of those prayers was coincidence.
In fact, looking back it’s easy to see his hand at work in it all. The importance of prayer in marriage was evident before we even realized it.
Check out “10 Effective Ways to Pray for Your Husband“ for tips on how to strengthen your marriage with prayer.
A prayer answered…
One memory from those lonely days stands out in my mind. I was sitting on the deck of my apartment after a particularly challenging day. I can’t recall if a relationship had just ended or was circling the drain.
Either way, I was tired of feeling heartbroken and wondered when I would finally get my happy ending. As I sat there feeling sorry for myself, the wise words of my college friend flitted through my mind.
What did I have to lose?
So, I once again prayed for the man I hoped to marry. I don’t remember what I said. But with tear-filled eyes, I prayed for his present circumstances and the dream I hoped would someday become reality.
I’ve often wondered where he was that night. Or if he felt my prayer. And if my prayers happened to be exactly what he needed during that difficult season.
Did those prayers play a role in my husband’s salvation? Did they protect him from harm? Were they somehow a beacon of hope that a better life was ahead?
Obviously, God did all that. I would never pretend anything different.
But I can’t help but think that he let me play a part. What a powerful thought that my husband and I were connected before we even met!
The importance of prayer in marriage…
If my prayers made an impact before I knew my husband, how much more important are they now? Now that he’s more than just a dream of someday happiness. Now that we share a home, a family, a life.
I had no idea how powerful my prayers were all those years ago. And sometimes I forget how powerful they still are today.
My husband doesn’t need to be saved anymore. Jesus did that. He doesn’t need to be rescued from his past. God already went there.
But he still needs my prayers just as much now as he did then. Prayers for his fatherhood, his career, his health…the list could go on and on.
And marriage prayers are a two-way street.
My husband is really good at praying for me. It’s one of his many strengths.
I could tell countless stories of the power of HIS prayers in MY life.
Because here’s the thing. We both know the same secret. One that was true long before we ever met.
Our marriage is never stronger than when we’re covering it in prayer.
Do you have a story that shows the importance of prayer in marriage? I’d love to hear it! Please share in the comments below.
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