Goal setting has long been a popular topic. We set goals for everything from financial planning to weight loss.
And why not?
It’s a proven strategy for success. When done the right way, goals make a positive difference in the short and long term.
But, have you ever considered setting marriage goals?
Identifying areas of your marriage that might need a little work and then committing to improve in those things. Just as goal setting is powerful in other areas of life, the same can be said in marriage.
Working together to set and work toward common marriage goals can be life-changing for your relationship.
Finding the right fit…
Each marriage is unique. Every relationship has different areas of strengths and weaknesses. So, your marriage goals probably won’t look like those of your close friends. Or the couple in your bible study group.
Nor should they.
Marriage goals need to be tailored for YOUR marriage. Otherwise, they just won’t work.
That being said, there ARE a few foundational goals that will benefit every marriage. So, if you’re having trouble figuring out exactly how to get started, consider beginning here.
Use these six marriage goal ideas to help you focus on what areas might need attention in your own relationship. And hopefully these suggestions will help you think of additional goals that are specific to your own marriage!
Foundational marriage goals…
Pray together daily.
Praying together is one of the most powerful things you can do for your marriage. And making that a regular part of your daily routine is even better.
My husband and I say a short prayer together before we leave for work each morning. And then another before we fall asleep at night.
Those prayers aren’t long or particularly eloquent. But they’re still meaningful and heartfelt. And they connect us to each other and God in a way that nothing else can.
Have a weekly/monthly devotion.
Short prayer times are perfectly fine. And a great way to stay connected to God throughout the day. But it’s important to set aside time for longer prayers and bible study as well.
Those don’t need to happen daily. But they do need to be a consistent part of your marriage goals.
My husband and I used to have weekly marriage devotions. As our children got older and our schedules became busier, we adjusted to monthly devotion times.
Find a system that works for you both. And be committed to it.
We’ve also found that using some kind of book or other resource has been helpful to guide our time together. Here’s a few devotionals we’ve used in the past…
Moments With You: Daily Connections for Couples
Marriage on the Rock and Marriage on the Rock Couples Discussion Guide
One: 52 Weekly Marriage-Building Devotions for Thriving Couples
Schedule Regular Date Nights.
Dating is most likely how your whole relationship started! And if you’re anything like us, you have fond memories of times spent just having fun together.
But, in many marriages the demands of family life force dating to take a back seat. Whether it’s parenting responsibilities, work demands, or financial limitations, making regular date nights a reality can be challenging.
Yet the importance of dating each other can’t be overstated. Going on regular dates brings life to your marriage.
It gives you both something to look forward to. It keeps you connected and reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place.
Do everything possible to make and keep dating a priority in your relationship.
(Need suggestions for inexpensive date nights? Find them here.)
Get away together at least once a year.
This may be one of the trickiest marriage goals to actually implement. But, it’s no less important than the others.
You don’t necessarily have to jet away to an exotic locale just to spend a little uninterrupted time together. (Although I definitely wouldn’t pass that up if I had the opportunity!)
But getting away together in any form is vital for your marriage. Leaving the “real world” behind for a few days will refresh and renew your relationship.
If finances are an obstacle or finding childcare is an issue, just plan an overnight stay at a new place close to home. Or, consider a staycation…send the kids to grandmas or a trusted friend for the weekend and have yourself an “at-home” getaway.
(Check out this post for tips on how to make regular getaways actually happen in your marriage.)
My husband and I have tried all those options. And they’ve each been wonderful in their own ways.
Regardless of how you make it work, make the most of your time. Do something fun together. Eat good food. Sleep in. Talk.
Most of all, slow down and focus on each other.
Have a financial plan.
Nothing puts stress on a marriage quite like money problems. And every marriage is most likely to have them at some point.
But a well-thought out and reasonable financial plan goes a long way to decreasing that stress. Choose a strategy you can agree on. And then stay dedicated to putting it into practice.
Even when that’s hard.
Not only will your bank account and budget thank you, but your marriage will be more peaceful. And you’ll rest easier knowing you’re working hard to leave a stable legacy for your children.
(Want more detailed help with your family’s finances? Check out this post for practical tips on handling money issues in marriage.)
Make time to dream and plan together.
Hope is one of the most powerful forces on earth. It does wonders for the heart and soul.
One of the best ways to keep hope alive in your marriage is to dream together.
That’s easy to do when you’re dating or in the newlywed stage. But it becomes more difficult as time goes by.
Life is inevitably going to throw some curve balls your way. Maybe lots of them. And that can make keeping those dreams alive difficult.
But God never intended your marriage to become stale and boring. Even the biggest dreams are never out of reach with His help.
So, keep talking about your dreams and reaching for them together. Even when things don’t go as planned.
Don’t give up. Dreaming big together is one of the best things you can do for your marriage.
(Read more about why dreaming together is vital for your marriage here.)
Setting marriage goals really do make a difference…
My husband and I sit down at the beginning of each year and write out a vision for our marriage, family, and business life. We list goals for each and put them on paper to keep us accountable.
This process has been a powerful tool for our life together. It’s motivating and inspiring.
It’s reminded us to never stop dreaming. To believe in each other and the God who has been so faithful to our family.
And to never give up on the goals that really matter.
We don’t reach every goal we set. But we accomplish far more than if we’d never set a goal in the first place!
Even more importantly, the simple act of the whole goal-setting process has made our marriage so much stronger and deepened our connection to each other. That in itself might just be the most important goal we’ve ever accomplished.
Because those dreams remind us that life is an adventure. And that there’s nothing better than being on that adventure together.
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