I’ve heard it said there’s no such thing as unanswered prayer. I’m not sure where I first learned the explanation behind that simple statement, but I do remember it rang true in my heart.
The source said God always responds to requests sent heavenward in one of three ways—yes, no, or wait.
And while there’s comfort in the belief that God always answers prayer, keeping a grateful heart when that answer is no can be challenging.
Obviously, when God says yes to our requests it’s easy to be thankful.
If we receive a “wait” answer, thankfulness may be a little bit harder to come by. Waiting is never easy. It stretches the limits of our character and tests our patience.
At the same time, we can look forward with hope that God has something better around the corner. It’s in seasons of waiting that our faith has the opportunity to grow.
But it’s a different story when God answers no. Especially when we believe our request is in line with his will and we don’t understand his response. An answer we didn’t expect can cause our faith to struggle and our trust to waver.
Yet sometimes a “no” from God is exactly what we need.
Big dreams and a clear vision…
My husband and I are goal setters. We write family and personal visions each year. We love to dream big together.
It’s inspiring to look back over previously set goals and see how many have been reached. We’ve accomplished a great deal in our first ten years of marriage.
We’re beyond thankful for how God has blessed our family and the many yes answers our prayers have already received.
Yet in the past few years we’ve experienced deep disappointment related to a handful of very big dreams.
Our goal list has always been long and full of variety. It usually includes a wide range of dreams for our future.
Some are simple and easily accomplished objectives, while others often seem out of reach. We list those too, with the hope that someday they won’t be.
But there are a few items that are extremely important to us. They stand out above the rest.
Those are the dreams that receive the bulk of our time and attention. And the ones we most want to see become reality.
Yet in our current season, with each of those dreams, God has said no. And we have no idea why.
We believe our requests are in line with his will. We aren’t aware of anything we’re doing wrong that might be standing in our way.
So, we choose to believe that his “no” is simply a “wait.” And that someday he’ll meet these desires of our heart.
But we could be wrong. And that scares us just a little.
Actually, to be perfectly honest, it’s frustrating. And confusing. And heartbreaking.
A punch in the gut…
While the struggle with disappointment is real, we’ve been walking with God too long to let it get the best of us. We trust in his timing.
His ways are far better than any of our planning and goal setting. We understand it’s important to keep a grateful heart regardless of how God answers our current prayers.
I’d have to say I was doing a pretty decent job of remaining thankful and trusting his plan. That is, until a few months ago.
All of a sudden, several of our closest friends and family members began to receive the very same blessings we had been praying for.
Those dreams that were so very precious to us. The desires closest to our hearts. The things we most wanted to see become a reality.
The EXACT SAME HOPES that God had (so far) not responded too.
We watched each and every one delivered to someone in our inner circle. To describe that experience as difficult would be an understatement.
I’d like to say I handled it all with grace. That I maintained a grateful heart each time I heard of another answered prayer. But the thoughts in my head told a different story.
I was angry, hurt, and confused.
I didn’t understand why God would say no to our fervent prayers and then send a parade of similar yes answers right in front of us.
Adding insult to injury…
Perhaps the most frustrating part hinged on one important fact. We hadn’t just been sitting back and expecting God to deliver a miracle on our behalf.
For each goal, we had formed a specific plan on how it could be accomplished. We’d laid out the necessary steps, stayed focused, and worked hard to make those dreams a reality.
We’d made countless sacrifices, overcame multiple obstacles, and refused to give up when the process took much longer than expected.
We had covered each item in prayer, but also tried to do everything on our part to make it happen. And to the best of our ability, we’d diligently followed God’s leading every step of the way.
Yet God still said no.
As usual, I took my frustrations to the Lord. Many times, I came to him–weary, sad, and questioning. As I worked through those emotions, God revealed a powerful lesson.
God began to show me the true test of my faith was in my ability to keep a grateful heart even when I had every reason not to. Because, in the end, it’s about way more than a yes answer to a heartfelt prayer.
An opportunity for growth…
Of course, God loves me. He wants what’s best for my family and he’ll always work things out for my good. But I’ve realized that very rarely looks like I expect.
Like any good parent, God wants to give me the desires of my heart. But I believe he’s just as concerned about strengthening my character and growing my faith on the way to seeing those dreams fulfilled.
God showed me true spiritual maturity is the ability to remain content even if I NEVER get a yes answer to those prayers. And to choose gratefulness no matter how many other people I see get exactly what I’m praying for.
When I’m able to demonstrate that kind of faith, I can seek him simply for who he is and not just to get something from him. I’ve chosen relationship with my Savior over my own wants and desires.
My focus has shifted from the temporary to the eternal.
I’ll admit–I’m not there yet. My response to this current situation is proof of that.
And maybe that’s why God is still saying no. He isn’t finished working on my heart.
If I’ll let him, he can use this experience to shape my character and strengthen my faith. In the midst of my sadness, I can draw closer to him.
I can give him my frustration and receive his peace. God can turn my disappointment into hope. My self-focus into unselfishness.
But, the choice is up to me. And in this instance, it starts with choosing a thankful attitude.
Read “17 Verses About Thankfulness to Inspire a Grateful Heart“ for more encouragement on remaining thankful through difficulty.
Maintaining a grateful heart…
I still believe we’ll see those big dreams become a reality for our family.
We’ll continue to include those goals in our vision. We won’t stop praying and doing our part to make them happen.
But for now, I accept God’s answer of no as an opportunity to die a little more to myself. A time to seek God simply for who he is and not what he can do for me.
I’ll take those yes answers given to others as a reminder to practice true humility. A chance for my faith to grow as I trust him with what I don’t understand.
A grateful heart may or may not change the outcome of my prayers. But it will change me.
And perhaps that’s what God was planning all along.
Practicing thankfulness when God says no is difficult. Yet our response can determine our level of growth during difficult times. Do you have a story of how God worked in your heart through unexpected answers to prayer? Please share in the comments below!
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