It was time.
My husband and I were seven months pregnant with our second child. Other than semi-regular date nights, we hadn’t spent significant time away from our first daughter since she was born.
Investing in our marriage had always been a priority. And with another baby arriving soon, we knew it was important to focus on our relationship.
So, we planned a long weekend trip for just the two of us.
A wonderful plan…
Because of the stage of the pregnancy and the toddler we would leave at home, we chose a city within driving distance. It was only a few hours away and a place we hadn’t yet visited together.
My husband spent countless hours researching hotels until he found a luxurious, but affordable option. He looked up restaurants and fun activities that I would still be able to do.
He planned out a wonderful trip. The perfect amount of fun and relaxation.
And I wanted to go…
But I had a problem. I was having a whole lot of trouble with the thought of leaving our daughter behind.
A difficult dilemma…
Simply the thought of our toddler at home with us hundreds of miles away sent me into a tailspin. I’m pretty sure every single “what if” that a mom could possibly imagine passed through my mind.
Many of those thoughts were completely ridiculous. A few weren’t.
Regardless, I knew fear was getting the best of me. Yet I couldn’t seem to shake it.
I knew investing in our marriage before we welcomed a second child was vital. But I was really close to just calling off the whole thing.
Spoiler alert…I didn’t. But in the days leading up to our trip, I experienced the entire spectrum of anxiety, stress, and mom guilt.
I tried to reason with myself. My husband and I had been out on many dates since our daughter was born. She had stayed with grandparents, friends, and even a few babysitters.
I had also worked part-time for several months after she was born. Our daughter had been in and out of child-care during that time.
But all the self-talk in the world didn’t help. This was a whole different ball game.
We would be gone overnight. For multiple nights. Not only that, but we would be in a completely different city, unable to quickly return if she needed us.
Admittedly, it was only a phone call away. Yet the few hundred miles might as well have been a few thousand for all the comfort it brought me.
The right choice…
Despite all that, I knew our marriage was more important than any anxiety I might have over leaving our child. And the truth was, it might be quite some time before we had this opportunity again.
But what finally gave me the courage to face all those fears was my husband’s excitement. While he would miss our daughter too, he couldn’t wait for the time away with me.
I could see it in his eyes every time we discussed the trip. That alone moved me to push past all the worry and guilt.
I prepared for our getaway.
A surprising discovery…
All too soon we were saying goodbye to our daughter and leaving her in my mom’s capable hands. I tried my best to ignore the knot in my stomach.
As we drove away, I pushed down the feelings of fear that made me want to turn right back around and cancel everything. I swallowed the protests that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
I’ll never forget how overwhelmingly strong those emotions were. It might have been that moment, more than any other, when I truly realized the depth of a mother’s love.
Yet as I looked over at my husband, I couldn’t help but smile at his excitement. Despite all those powerful emotions I was struggling to keep at bay, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be.
So, I settled in for the more than three-hour drive to our destination. Armed with snacks, music, and time for uninterrupted conversation, I was determined to enjoy the road trip.
As we drove, I received an unexpected surprise. The further away we traveled, the more at peace I felt. As the miles ticked by, I slowly felt my anxiety dissipate and my fear lessen.
Don’t get me wrong. I still missed our little girl. And I was still concerned about being away from her.
But the farther we got from home, the more those emotions loosened their grip.
When we actually got to our destination and began our weekend, I discovered something even better. The enjoyment of simply being with my husband far outweighed my concerns over my daughter back at home.
Struggling to make a marriage getaway actually happen? Check out “Romantic Getaway Tips for Parents on a Budget.”
That first step was the hardest…
I had a revelation on that trip that’s probably felt by a lot of moms the first time they leave their children for any length of time.
The actual walking away is the hardest part.
Saying goodbye and trusting my daughter to the care of someone else for more than a few hours was scary. And hard.
And I almost didn’t do it.
But after I actually put one foot in front of the other and followed through on my good intentions, all those intense emotions became much more manageable.
I thoroughly enjoyed that trip with my husband. We chatted during leisurely meals, toured the city at our own pace, and relaxed at our hotel.
It was the perfect long weekend getaway. Exactly what we had needed. The time spent investing in our marriage was repaid a hundred-fold.
And my daughter was just fine. She had a blast with her grandma. In hindsight, it was probably just as good for her as it was for us.
Read “Why You Should Never Stop Dating Your Husband“ for more on the importance of investing in your marriage.
Investing in marriage will always be important…
We’ve had several marriage retreats since that first trip. In fact, one of our yearly goals is to get away together at least once a year.
Many of our weekends have been even closer to home than the first. In fact, we’ve tried out several hotels in our own city on different occasions.
And some of our retreats have actually been staycations! During years when finances were really limited, we sent the kids to their grandparents and had a weekend at home together.
While the circumstances have changed throughout different seasons, the mindset is always the same.
Investing in our marriage is a priority. And it doesn’t really matter how or where we make it happen.
But making that time a reality is more important than our work schedules, family obligations, and yes, even our children.
Because our relationship is the foundation of our entire family. When it thrives, everyone in our home benefits.
And there’s no better way to strengthen our bond than to spend intentional, focused, one-on-one time together on a regular basis.
A decision to make…
I’d like to say leaving our children for a marriage getaway has gotten easier over time. But it hasn’t.
When my husband and I prepare for one of our trips, the same feelings always resurface. Days prior to the event, I struggle with anxiety, fear, and stress.
And every time I drop them off with their grandparents, I have to force myself to leave and walk away. I have to fight every single fiber of my being that doesn’t want them to go.
But each time, those feelings fade after they’re in the care of our extended family and we’re on our way to enjoying time together.
They never fail to spend the weekend making precious memories with their grandparents. And we always return refreshed and reconnected.
None of those things could happen if we didn’t make the choice to put each other first. To prioritize investing in our marriage.
I’m pretty sure leaving my kids will never be easy. And it really shouldn’t be. The mother-child bond is a strong one.
But a healthy family only exists because of a strong marriage. A marriage that’s committed to the love story that started it all.
Are you investing in marriage with regular time away together? If so, what has been your favorite trip? If not, where would you like to go? Please share in the comments below!
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