Generosity doesn’t come easy for me.
It’s hard to admit…but I can be pretty stingy. Whether it’s time, energy, or money, I’ve always struggled to share my resources.
I know the importance of giving.
I’m just not good at it.
Fortunately, my husband is the exact opposite. Generous by nature, he loves to give. He’s always looking for a way to bless someone else. Regardless of the cost.
And while those differences have generated more than a few arguments over the course of our marriage, I’m so thankful for his perspective. His open hand approach to life balances out my tightfisted nature.
When it comes to our family, I want our kids to follow my husband’s lead. And because of my own struggles in this area, it’s even more important to me that my children learn the importance of giving.
I’ve had to be intentional about teaching generosity. If you’d like to do the same, here’s some of the things I’ve learned about raising generous kids…
14 tips for raising generous kids…
Provide a biblical foundation for the importance of giving.
Like it or not, we’re all born selfish. Some more than others. (Case in point talking here.) But not one of us is immune to selfishness. And not one of us can overcome selfishness on our own.
It’s important to teach our kids what the bible has to say about the importance of giving. Referencing scriptures like Malachi 3:10 and Acts 20:35 is a good place to start.
“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Put me to the test!”
Malachi 3:10 NLT
And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Acts 20:35 NLT
Teach your children that God not only calls us to give, but He blesses us for doing so. Use real life examples to reinforce scriptures on generosity whenever possible.
(Find more scriptures on generosity here.)
Model generosity.
Have you heard the saying, “more is caught than taught?” This holds true when it comes to generosity as well. You can preach to your kids about the importance of giving until you’re blue in the face. But if you’re stingy with your own resources, all that talking most likely goes in one ear and out the other.
Let your kids see you be generous. They don’t need to know the details of your finances. But they do need to know that you give some of your money away. They don’t need to know your level of income. But they do need to know that you tithe from it.
Make your kids aware of different organizations you support. Let them see when and where you volunteer your time. Show them how your talents are used to benefit others.
Years ago, we decided to upgrade from our medium-sized car to an SUV. With a husband in the automotive business, it would have been easy for us to sell our used car and make a tidy profit. (And believe me, I wanted too!)
But God had other plans. He led us to give our car away to a ministry at our church that provides free cars to widows and others in need.
We took our girls with us the day we dropped off the car. We explained what we were doing and why. They were able to see first-hand how an act of generosity had the power to change someone’s life.
It was a powerful lesson that I hope they never forget.
Be strategic.
My husband and I decided early on that our girls would have age-appropriate chores. We explained it to them this way-each member of our family had a responsibility to help the house run efficiently. Those responsibilities all looked different, but everybody was required to pitch in.
For our kids, these things range from making their beds and folding/putting away their laundry, to packing their own school snacks and clearing the table after meals.
(Read more about the benefits of household chores here.)
But, we also wanted to teach our kids how to manage money and more specifically, about tithing. So, they also have weekly “jobs.” Those include things like vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing showers, shaking rugs, and emptying trashcans…just to name a few. Our kids get paid fifty cents to one dollar per job.
On each of their dressers sits three jars. They’re labeled tithe, save, and spend. After every “payday” they put ten percent in the tithe jar, ten percent in the save jar, and the rest goes in the spend.
This has been a tangible way for us to teach them about tithing. We hope giving to God first becomes a lifelong habit. We know the abundant blessings that come from this one act of obedience.
Be spontaneous.
Having a plan is important. But so is taking advantage of teachable moments. God has often called us to give something spur of the moment. If this happens, get your kids involved. And if they’re not with you, make sure to share the story later.
My husband has come home from work countless times with a story to share about something he spontaneously gave away. As he talks about a certain amount of money or a physical item he felt led to give, our girls listen with wide eyes and soak in every detail. I hope someday they will share similar stories around their own dinner tables!
Some of life’s best lessons happen spontaneously. Don’t miss one of those opportunities to show your kids the importance of giving.
Start small.
Instilling life-long values in your children won’t happen overnight. So don’t feel like you have to teach everything at once. Pick one way to put more focus on generosity and keep at that one until it becomes habit. Then add something new.
Consider starting out by brainstorming ways for your kids to earn/have money so you can help them learn how to tithe. Or choose an organization you want to support and involve your kids in that process.
Our family started super small with our generosity lessons. They only cost a quarter! (You can find that story here.)
Make it about more than money.
Your kids need to understand being generous isn’t just about money. True generosity is a way of life-giving freely of your time and resources is just as important as how much money you give away.
Serving together as a family is a great way to live this out. Our family serves as greeters at our church one Sunday each month. It’s a wonderful opportunity for our kids to practice giving of their time and energy to others.
Our children also have numerous opportunities to serve their community through different projects at their school. I have a long list of why I love our school, but the focus on service is close to the top. Encouraging our students to give back and then providing them with ways to do so are priceless experiences.
Have lots of conversations about the importance of giving.
As with many things in parenting, lessons in generosity can never be “one and done.” Raising kids who understand the importance of giving requires ongoing conversations. Whether in the car, at the dinner table, or before they fall asleep at night, watch for teachable moments and capitalize on them.
Side note…this is another great reason to monitor screen time. Deep and meaningful conversations about the truly important things in life don’t happen nearly as often if everyone’s face is stuck to their own screens.
Point out examples.
Generous people are everywhere. Watch for examples of generosity and point them out whenever you can. It may be something small, like helping an elderly person get their groceries in the car. Or something huge, like donating a large sum of money to a charity.
It’s important for your kids to see all levels of generosity. This will help them understand that there’s always an option to give something-whether it’s a lot or a little. Your level of generosity should never depend on how much you have.
Give your first.
My husband and I have always been intentional to model to our kids that we set aside the first of whatever we bring in to give away. Whether that’s the first ten percent of our income as tithe to our local church or the first vegetables from our garden each summer to give to a neighbor.
We embrace this philosophy because we believe it’s powerful. But we also use it as an opportunity to show our kids that giving is a priority in our family.
Give your best.
We also insist on only giving away our best. When that first crop of garden vegetables become available, we pick the best looking items to pass along and save the less attractive veggies for ourselves. When shopping for items to donate for charity, we choose the nice stuff over items of lesser quality.
Those might be little things. But they’re an important reminder to our children to put others before themselves.
Give beyond your comfort zone.
For someone who’s naturally tightfisted, it seems God is always calling me to give out of my comfort zone. When I listen and obey, I’m always blessed. When I dig my heels in and stubbornly refuse, I lose my peace and never fail to be disappointed (in myself and the outcome of the situation).
To be honest, if I was only generous when it was easy or when I felt like it, generosity would rarely (okay, never) happen in my life!
But decades of following the Lord and listening to His voice have taught me there’s a better way.
I want my children to experience that too. To heed God’s call when generosity isn’t easy. And to reap the blessings that come from being obedient.
Give them opportunities.
One of the best ways to focus on the importance of giving is to let your children experience it first-hand. Take advantage of opportunities to give as a family.
Each Christmas, our family puts together shoeboxes full of gifts for Operation Christmas Child. We all go shopping together and we put each child in charge of a box. They get to choose the age and gender of the child they want to bless. And they help pick out each item.
After that shopping trip, our kids help pack the boxes. We pray over them and they hand deliver the gifts to volunteers at our church.
It’s a powerful experience for our children and one of the highlights of our Christmas season.
Cover it in prayer.
As with everything in parenting, we need the Lord’s help to train and guide our children. Pray for your children to develop generous hearts. Ask God for wisdom in how to best teach them about the importance of giving. And then be open to His leading as you watch for opportunities to give.
Remember that character training is a long game.
It may be years before you see the results of your efforts. Remain consistent and positive. Your lessons will yield fruit-and the wait will be worth it!
Show them the blessing.
Obviously, we want our children to be generous for the right reasons. We don’t want them to give with an expectation of receiving. But at the same time, we do want them to experience the joy of generosity.
Let your kids see the blessings that come to generous givers.
We participate in a tracking program with our Christmas shoeboxes so our children can see what country their boxes are delivered too. They get to see pictures of children being blessed by shoebox presents.
We also shared with our kids the information we received about the recipient of our donated car. And when we noticed it in the parking lot of our large church one Sunday morning, we made sure to point out that the new owner was now able to drive himself to church!
It might not always be possible for your children to see the results of their generosity and that’s okay. But when the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of it. Those experiences make a big impact.
Teaching the importance of giving has a ripple effect…
Selfishness is something everyone battles. But if we can teach our kids how to fight greed with generosity, they’ll grow into adults that live with more contentment, more peace, and more joy.
And what parents don’t want that for their children, right?! But that’s not all. Because it’s not just about them.
Raising kids who understand the importance of giving positions our children to be difference makers. It gives them the opportunity to be a blessing in ways we may never imagine right now.
Generosity has a way of creating ripples far beyond the initial act. The lessons we teach today may very well affect generations to come.
We’re setting examples that promise to settle deep in the hearts of our children. And give them a chance to grow up blessing the world with open hands and open hearts.
Thank you for this. You are blessed to have a generous husband.
You’re welcome! And yes, I’m very thankful for my husband’s generosity. He is an incredible example to me!