I recently wrote a post about one of my favorite quotes and its impact on my marriage.
Unconditional love is giving the other person what they need the most, when they deserve it the least, at great personal cost to yourself.
Chip Ingram, Living on the Edge
When I first heard those words as a new wife more than a decade ago, they provided much needed guidance on how to love my husband unconditionally. And I’ve been learning to practically apply them ever since!
The importance of unconditional love in marriage…
Strong marriages are built when both sides learn how to love without conditions. Even when they disagree and especially when they don’t feel like it.
Since first hearing that quote, walking out that kind of love in marriage has been my goal. But I have to admit–it hasn’t always been easy!
Whether it’s a difficult season or an on-going disagreement, real life issues have a way of making us forget all about unconditional love.
Yet if we can practice loving well in the toughest moments, our marriages will become strong enough to weather just about anything.
So, I’ve put together a few ideas for how to love your husband unconditionally–even when life is hard, stress is high, or you’re simply not feeling all that connected.
Because it’s in those times that your marriage probably needs that kind of love the most.
(The information here does not apply in any type of abusive relationship. If you are the victim of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse the first and most important thing you can do is get help.)
14 ideas for how to love your husband unconditionally…
Respect him. no matter what.
Most men have a deep need for respect. Wives alone have the power to meet that need by consistently respecting their husbands.
Show respect with your tone of voice in every day conversations and by how you approach him when you disagree. Insist your children respect their dad in those same ways.
Listen to his suggestions and value his opinions. Let him know his input matters and that you place importance on what he has to say.
Let a respectful attitude be at the core of each and every interaction.
Make time for him.
Let’s be real here. Moms are busy. We juggle countless balls and our to-do list is never ending.
And sometimes we feel like there’s no time for that conversation about work he wants to have while you’re bathing the kids. Or the long hug he initiates while you’re in the middle of cooking dinner.
But it’s important to make that time for your husband. Try your best to be in the moment with him.
Put his need to be heard and his desire for attention above your busy schedule, the kids’ demands, and your own exhaustion.
It just might make his day. And it will most definitely make him feel loved.
Believe in him.
The power of encouragement goes a long way. Make sure your husband hears you express your belief in him.
Whether it’s in reference to his career, parenting skills, or anything in between, let him know that he’s strong and capable.
Remind him of what he’s accomplished in the past and be a source of inspiration for his future.
Let him lead.
Men were created to lead the family. That doesn’t mean women aren’t equal partners in marriage. Or that moms are in any way less significant.
But it does mean God equipped men with specific skills and abilities to effectively lead and guide their families. Strong families include husbands who walk out this truth and wives who understand and support it.
Trust him.
I’ll be honest–this is a hard one for me. Not because my husband isn’t trustworthy. He’s amazing!
No, it’s because I’m a control freak.
That perfectionist personality I so often struggle with makes releasing control to anyone difficult. Even my husband.
But trusting my spouse with his part of whatever task lies in front of us is vital to our marriage and his self-esteem. Whether it’s something as little as a grocery list or as big as the next financial decision, I have to be a team player.
Giving up control to him in a balanced and healthy way increases his ability to lead our family and strengthens our relationship.
Read “A Love Without Conditions“ for more on showing unconditional love to your husband.
Be his loudest cheerleader.
Let your husband know you believe in him. Encourage him daily. Celebrate his accomplishments.
Whether it’s a big promotion at work or a small parenting win, make sure he knows you see it and are proud of him.
And let others know it too. Which leads me to…
Brag on him in front of others.
I’ve always tried to be very conscious of the words I speak concerning my husband. I’m constantly trying to build him up, especially in front of our kids or extended family.
I try to take advantage of any opportunity to talk about one of his accomplishments or focus on one of his strengths. Especially if he’s within hearing distance!
Be intentional with the words that come out of your mouth. You’re not only building your husband’s self-esteem, but also speaking life into your marriage at the same time.
Let him fail.
On the flip side, give him room to make mistakes. Another moment of truth–I struggle with this too.
It’s that control thing again.
Did I mention I’m a perfectionist? I don’t like to make mistakes. But I also realize they’re just a part of life.
In fact, without mistakes and failure we would never learn, change, or get better at anything. So as much as I may not like them, mistakes are important and necessary.
If I’m holding on to control so tightly that my husband has no room to breathe, I’m also limiting his growth and stifling his potential. I have to step back and give him freedom to try things that may or may not work out.
And when they don’t, I need to be waiting–full of grace–to encourage him. By simply supporting him without judgement, I can help him turn that failure into a lesson for the future.
Just like he’s done for me with my own fair share of mistakes!
Support his dreams.
My husband is a dreamer. I love that about him. I tend to learn more towards the practical side.
His dreams are inspiring and remind me that life is bigger than I like to think.
So, I dream with my husband. And no matter how big, scary, or seemingly impossible some of those dreams might be, I come alongside him so we can reach for them together.
be united in parenting decisions.
Be united in your parenting approach. When you disagree about an issue concerning your kids, try to discuss it privately.
Always support his decisions in front of your children. And when you do approach him with a topic of disagreement, consider your timing and then proceed with respect.
Talk him up to your kids.
Make sure your kids know what an awesome dad they have. To be honest, I may have taken this one a little too far at times!
My kids think their father is a better driver and cook than me. I’m pretty sure that’s due to how often I brag about his skills to their listening ears.
But it’s the truth and I’m okay with it. I have my own strengths. I don’t mind playing second fiddle to my husband. Especially when I see how proud our children are of their dad!
Make date nights a priority.
Date nights can be hard to come by after having kids. But they are possible–and ever so necessary!
Do everything you can to make regular date nights a reality. Take the initiative to plan a special evening.
Your commitment to dating your husband will let him know you prioritize your relationship above all the other things pulling for your time.
Check out my resource, “Simple and Inexpensive Date Nights for Parents.”
Appreciate everything he brings to your family.
Notice the small and big things he does on a daily basis. Show appreciation for his hard work and the income he provides for your family. Say “thank you” for all the little things he does around the house.
Let him know you don’t take him for granted and teach your kids to do the same.
Never forget to say “I love you.”
This might be the easiest idea on the list of how to love your husband unconditionally. And perhaps the most overlooked. Those three little words can get lost in the day-to-day shuffle of family life.
But they are so powerful. Especially when accompanied with a tight hug or quick kiss.
Don’t forget to say them when you tell each other goodbye in the morning, before you go to sleep at night, and anytime in between!
Unconditional love in action…
One last confession–I’m still a work in progress with all this. I often struggle with many of these ideas on how to love your husband unconditionally.
But I’m fully invested in my marriage. My husband is my best friend and the most important person in my life.
Learning how to love without conditions may not be easy. It might take a little creativity and a lot of practice.
But the end result of a strong marriage is worth any amount of work it takes to get there.
When the dust settles at the end of the day–no matter how crazy it’s been–I snuggle in close to him and thank God for the gift of my husband.
And I commit again to loving him even better tomorrow.
💖 Unconditional love means giving your partner what they need, even when it’s tough. Respect and listen to your husband, especially during hard times. It’s these moments that strengthen your bond. 🌟💑
Agreed! Having the patience to listen and show respect through those difficult conversations is key. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Really thankful for this, Got back my ex, (Revive broken relationship/marriage),,,,
So glad this was helpful for you!
Helpful thoughts to help my marriage
Janet, I’m so glad you’ve found these things helpful for your marriage!