Happiness is a fickle thing.
It comes and goes with the current circumstance. Ebbs and flows with the emotion of the moment.
Joy on the other hand…is different. Joy goes deeper. It’s beyond circumstances. And more than feelings.
It’s a condition of the heart.
So, is it possible to keep your joy even when you don’t feel happy?
I think so.
And I’ve been on a journey to figure out how.
When happiness is hard to find…
Our family’s recently been through a difficult season. One that lasted much longer than we hoped or expected.
So, I know a thing or two about hard times. I’ve experienced first-hand how prolonged trials can steal your joy.
The funny thing is, I’ve always known that joy isn’t dependent on happiness.
But having the head knowledge is one thing. Walking it out when life gets tough is easier said than done!
And unfortunately, I haven’t been able to apply that head knowledge to my heart lately.
So, I’m on a mission to get my joy back.
I’m determined to live with peace and contentment regardless of what life throws my way. Whether our challenges are almost over or just getting started.
I don’t want my circumstances to define my quality of life.
Maybe you can relate. Perhaps life hasn’t turned out quite like you expected either. Or you’re in the middle of your own difficult season.
Well, I have some encouragement in store for you!
I haven’t mastered a joy-filled life quite yet. But I have learned a few things in my journey to find joy again.
And I’m hoping those lessons can help you too.
How to keep your joy in hard times…
Stay in the Word.
This might be the single most important key to living a joy-filled life.
True joy can only be found in Jesus. And staying connected to Him means reading His Word. When hard times comes, we have to run to the Bible. Even if we don’t feel like it.
(If you need a place to start, check out “20 Bible Verses About Choosing Joy.”)
I’ve got to be honest. Studying scripture is not one of my strengths. But I know how important it is for my soul.
So, I choose to start and end every day with a bible passage. It might only be one verse. But, I make sure it’s the first thing I look at when I wake up in the morning. And the last thing I see when I go to bed that night.
I also try to spend time studying Scripture weekly. I do my best to set aside time during the week to dig deeper into God’s Word.
I’ll admit…I need to do more. But it’s a start.
Pray.
God already knows your heart. But telling Him about the heaviness you feel is good for your soul. And it draws you closer to Him.
One of my favorite bible verses is found in Nehemiah.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
Ask Him to restore that joy. And then trust Him to do just that.
Worship.
Few things bring more peace than worship. If your joy is missing, worship is guaranteed to help bring it back. You can’t be in the presence of true worship without feeling better.
Find songs that speak to you. And when you’re feeling low, make worship your go-to. Let it lead your heart to a better place.
Go to church.
There’s something about meeting with a community of believers that holds it’s own kind of power. It’s impossible to replicate through a television screen or online streaming.
There may be seasons when in-person attendance is impossible. We’ve seen that proven true recently. But don’t let those seasons turn into the new normal.
There is joy to be found in fellowship. Make time in church a priority.
Consume less media.
Television shows are my weakness. I love a good crime drama or mystery show. Throw in a love story and I’m hooked!
A well-written script keeps my mind busy and allows me to relax. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying that time to unplug from daily life…
In moderation. And with discretion.
I know all too well that if I’m not careful, my screen time can get out of balance. I become more immersed in the world than I am in Jesus.
So, I’ve done a 30 day media and television fast twice a year for awhile now. And I never cease to be amazed at how much my peace increases during that time.
These bi-annual fasts are essential for me. And they’re an important reminder to remain ever vigilant on keeping my entertainment choices in balance the rest of the time.
Minimize negative influences.
My husband often uses this great quote…
You can’t soar with eagles when you hang out with turkeys.
I don’t know who said it. But it’s so very true.
Pay attention to your social circle. Are you surrounded by mostly positive people? Or is it the other way around?
Negative influences can quickly suck the life right out of you.
Choose your friendships wisely. Be aware of the tone of conversations happening around you.
Be willing to distance yourself from unhealthy relationships that steal your joy.
Surround yourself with positivity.
Find ways to pour positivity into your life. Read inspirational stories. Listen to uplifting podcasts. Find blogs meant to encourage. (I happen to know a great one!)
If you’re like me, you may not have a lot of free time. It might seem impossible to squeeze something like this in.
But it’s not!
Listen to podcasts while you drive. Or make dinner. Or get ready in the morning.
Bookmark your favorite website or positive social media influencer and scroll while you wait in line at the store.
The options are endless. And you might be amazed at how uplifting those short spurts of positivity can be.
(Check out this sweet story on staying positive.)
Re-evaluate your schedule.
Stress can be a huge joy stealer. And nothing brings more stress than an overloaded schedule.
Take a hard look at how you spend your time. Be honest about you level of busyness. Is it healthy?
If not, be willing to make adjustments. Get good at saying no. And don’t feel guilty about it!
A joy-filled life rarely happens at warp-speed.
(Read more on slowing life down here.)
Take care of your body.
A healthy lifestyle can make a big difference in your state of mind. You know the drill, but it bears repeating…
Eat well, exercise, and get plenty of rest.
(Find tips on how to implement a healthy mom lifestyle here.)
The better you feel, the easier it is to have a positive perspective.
Get outside.
There’s something about fresh air that immediately lifts the spirit.
One of my favorite ways to pray is walking around my neighborhood early in the morning. Starting my day talking to the Lord while surrounded by His creation sets my mind right.
Go for a jog. Take a walk. Or just sit on your deck and breath deep.
It’s guaranteed to improve your mood.
Choose to speak life.
Many circumstances are out of our control. But how we respond to them is not.
Get into the habit of speaking good about yourself and your life. That doesn’t mean you have to be Pollyanna. But you can refuse to let negativity take over.
Believe that God truly does have good plans for you. And then speak that out when you feel doubt creep in.
Serve others.
One of the best ways to find joy is to get yourself off your mind. Do something for someone else. Look for ways to serve others.
I know first-hand…this can be hard when faced with unimaginable trials of your own. But helping others has a way of shifting our perspective.
It brings revelation of how blessed we truly are.
And a reminder that life isn’t all about us.
Refuse to lose hope.
One of my greatest “ah-ha” moments came when I realized the reason for my lack of joy. I had lost hope.
(Find that story here.)
Joy is hard to come by when hope is gone. And holding onto hope isn’t always easy in hard times.
But it is possible. Because God is faithful. Even when we don’t understand. And especially when we’re hurting.
We have to trust He’ll work things out for our good. Regardless of our current circumstances. There’s hope to be found in the promise of His faithfulness.
Keep your joy and love your life…
I have a sneaking suspicion our difficult season isn’t over. And if it is, I know another one is waiting sometime in the future. That’s just how life goes.
There’s a part of my that’s okay with that.
I will never ask for hard times. And I don’t enjoy them.
But I am thankful for the lessons they teach. For the growth they bring. And for the wisdom they inspire.
Because without them I might be walking through my life completely happy…Yet missing the deep and abiding joy that only comes from seeing what life is like without it.
Living with joy when you don’t feel happy is possible.
And that kind of hard-earned joy is far more satisfying than any fleeting moment of happiness.
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