I know a little something about unfulfilled dreams.
And not just any dreams. The feel-it-way-down-deep-in-your-soul, prayed-your-heart-out, seems-like-you’ve-waited-your-whole-life kind of dreams.
We all have them. Dreams that we’re still waiting on. Ones that can be almost too painful to talk about. And ones God doesn’t seem to have much to say about either.
So, if you’re wondering how to keep your faith strong when you’re disappointed…I’ve been there too.
And while wrestling with the fallout of broken dreams is not exactly my favorite place to be, I have to admit that it’s taught me a lot.
If you find yourself battling discouragement and questioning the future, take heart. Because there’s hope on the other side of your disappointment.
Where it all started…
My husband and I have dreamed of a country home with a handful of acres to call our own since we got married. And we actively started pursuing that dream around eight years ago.
We set a plan in motion to dive into real estate investing–to downsize, purchase a fixer-upper, and then flip it. We hoped to rinse and repeat that process until we had enough money for the house of our dreams.
Our first step was updating our current house. My husband’s to-do list was endless…replacing floors, painting, updating fixtures, improving landscaping, and on and on.
In the meantime, I learned everything I could about staging a home for a profitable and quick sale. I talked to friends and researched till I couldn’t see straight.
I went though our entire house with a fine-tooth comb and purged everything we didn’t need. Then I went through it again and boxed up everything except for the essentials. Even most of the kids’ toys and our kitchen supplies went into storage! Finally, I did a deep clean-top to bottom.
It was months of hard work. Somehow squeezed in between careers and raising small children. But we couldn’t afford to hire anything out. So, we buckled down and got it done.
And all the blood, sweat, and tears paid off. We sold that house the first day it went on the market for over the listing price. For cash.
Our future looked bright. We had no idea we were about to learn a whole lot about how to keep your faith strong when things don’t go as planned!
On to round two…
We had nowhere to go, so we moved into a short-term rental. Money was tight and our goals were big. Needless to say, our rental was less than ideal. Our new neighborhood and duplex were a far cry from the comfortable home we’d just sold.
But we were reaching for our dreams. So, the sacrifice was worth it.
Six long months later, we found another home that fit into our plan. We moved in and started working on it right away.
Same goal. Same process.
Except this house needed a little more TLC. My husband basically worked two jobs for months as he updated our house. It was exhausting.
But we had a plan and were determined to stick to it.
We sold that house around three years after we bought it. Completely updated and beautiful. Again, it sold quickly. And again, we made a nice profit.
But the economy was changing. And finding another house to flip proved difficult.
Third time wasn’t a charm…
So, we moved into another short-term rental. This time it took around nine months for us to find our next project. And the hunt was much more challenging.
Because of the shift in the housing market, we were forced to change plans. Instead of buying a house to flip, we bought one we could keep and rent when we moved on to our country home.
This house was the oldest in our journey so far. And needed the most work.
And to be honest…we were weary. We’d hoped to have a booming real estate portfolio and be in the country by now.
The journey had been longer and more complicated than we expected.
But we don’t give up easily. So, we both took a deep breath and started again.
My husband painted the entire inside of that house. He replaced toilets, redid floors, and changed out light fixtures. We remodeled the entire kitchen, a bathroom, and the garage. And turned the huge jungle that was supposed to be a yard into a respectable lawn.
That house was a ton of work. And the housing market continued to change in ways that didn’t bode well for our future.
But we felt good about the possibilities of our current house as a rental. It was in a prime location in a quiet neighborhood and had a desirable floor plan. We didn’t think we’d have a problem finding tenants.
So, we turned our eyes toward the next step…looking for that country home. After four moves in three years and three major house renovations, we were ready to settle down.
Unfulfilled dreams…
We thought we’d learned a lot about how to keep your faith strong in seasons of difficulty. Surely God would swing open the door to one of our biggest dreams.
But He had other plans.
Because we’re still in that house today. Still looking for our country home.
And while our dream doesn’t seem as out of reach as it did almost a decade ago, is still seems too far away to be possible.
The housing market continues to spiral out of control. Plus, we also recently had a significant change in income. And it wasn’t in the positive direction.
So, after all that work and all that time and all those prayers…our dream was still just that. A dream. Not even close to reality.
Find out how to manage your emotions despite your circumstances in “Choose Faith Over Feelings and Live Happier.”
A punch in the gut…
To add insult to injury, it seemed like everyone we knew was getting in on the exact same dream we had worked so hard to achieve for almost ten years.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that someone in almost every circle of friends of family we were a part of were getting a country home. Family members on both sides, close friends, acquaintances, people we worked with…
It seemed everywhere we turned someone else was telling us about their new home in the country.
It was almost laughable. Except it hurt too much to be funny.
Losing hope? These 15 powerful habits can help. Read them in “How to Overcome Hope Deferred.”
How to keep your faith strong in seasons of disappointment…
This isn’t the first time we’ve walked through a season of disappointment. It’s not the first time we’ve been discouraged over a broken dream. And I’m sure it won’t be the last.
We know what it feels like to want something so badly that your soul aches. To spend years reaching for something that keeps moving just out of your reach.
We know what it’s like to work hard for a long time and see little results. And then to watch someone else get exactly what you’ve been praying for.
And we know how it feels to ask yourself how to keep your faith strong when you’re filled with disappointment.
Challenging seasons have a way of refining you. This one is no different. We’ve learned a lot. Made our fair share of mistakes. And tried to figure out the best way to move forward.
Through it all, we’ve been reminded of two things…
Reminder #1: God has a plan for our good and His glory.
We usually don’t understand it in real time. But we can often look back and see how perfectly He orchestrated everything.
We’ve seen it happen time and again in each of our own personal stories, in our marriage, and with our family.
God is always faithful. And we know He will be again. Even if we can’t see it right now.
Reminder #2: Learning how to be content in the moment is a priceless gift.
As humans, we’re hard-wired to always want more. I’m sure when we finally get to our country home, we’ll keep looking for ways to make it better. Our flesh is never satisfied.
But our soul can be. And the only way that happens is by finding true contentment in Jesus.
Having goals is good. Working hard is commendable. The Bible even encourages those things! But there’s a fine line between keeping those things in balance and turning them into idols.
Believe me, we have a lot of experience with that!
And after almost a decade of back and forth on this issue, we’ve come to a conclusion. How to keep your faith strong in spite of disappointment requires one thing…
We have to acknowledge that He is enough. Whether He delivers on our biggest dreams…or if we never see them realized.
We have to be content in Him.
Our promised land…
Disappointment has taught me all too well that this earth is not our home. And nothing this world has to offer will truly satisfy our souls.
I believe God wants us to dream big. And I think He loves making our dreams come true. But I don’t think He wants us to get so attached to those dreams that we lose sight of Him.
Because a country home is not our promise land. Neither is a better job, more money, traveling the world, or pretty much any other thing we could name this side of heaven.
As Grammy award winning singer Toby Mac so eloquently puts it…our promise land is not found in earthly dreams. It’s found in Jesus. And even our biggest dreams pale in comparison to Him.
I still believe we’ll have that home in the country. I don’t know when. And I certainly don’t know how.
But I know God loves us. And I know He put that dream in our hearts for a reason. I haven’t given up on it.
But I have put it in its place.
It’s not my promised land.
I have something far, far better.
And so do you.
When thinking about how to keep your faith strong, which one of the two reminders are most helpful to you? Please share in the comments below!
REMINDER #1: GOD HAS A PLAN FOR OUR GOOD AND HIS GLORY means a lot to me. My experience is that my plans do not work out until I sincerely turn the hope or dream over to God and tell him, “Fine. I don’t need it. I’ve got You. Your ways are better than my ways, and that’s all I need.” That’s when God finally rewards. In addition, the reward my not even be what your original hope was. It will probably even be better than ever imagined.
REMINDER #2: LEARNING HOW TO BE CONTENT IN THE MOMENT IS A PRICELESS GIFT. I’m working on this. It’s incredibly difficult for me to lay down pride and covetousness in certain areas of my life. For instance, I saw myself as being a leader of a big corporation. But I’m nowhere near that. I want to travel to so many places, but finances don’t allow it. I have to remind myself that all of these earthly things are so fleeting and in heaven, I won’t be looking back at the things I missed out on.
Lisa, I completely agree! Applying these truths is often so difficult. And we will most likely never reach perfection. Yet every step in the right direction leads to a life of more peace and joy. Thank you for your insight and encouragement!