The realization shocked me to the core.
Somewhere along the way of trying to figure out how to efficiently get our family out the door each morning, I’d turned into a monster.
Not every day. And “monster” is probably an exaggeration.
But it’s closer to the truth than I’d like to admit.
I had to figure out how to be a more patient mom. Because my behavior as I tried to get everyone ready on time was becoming pretty ugly.
On those mornings, my (mostly) calm and peaceful self disappeared. And in her place was an angry, frustrated mom who couldn’t see past the steam coming out of her own ears.
It was not a good look. I knew something had to change.
The beginning of the end…
It all started when I went back to work. I’d been a teacher for almost a decade before we had children.
After kids, being a stay-at-home mom was important to our family. I worked part-time here and there, but my primary responsibilities were in the home.
And I loved it.
But both our children were now in school. And with the ever-increasing price tag of growing kids, my husband and I decided it was time for me to go back to work.
All of a sudden, I had three people to get ready and out the door. Much earlier than I’d ever had to worry about before!
No small task for someone who’s notorious for moving slowly.
On top of that, my husband leaves for work before the sun rises. So, that left me with the sole responsibility of making sure the rest of us were on time.
And have I mentioned before that I’m not naturally fast or efficient?
That being said, I knew getting us all to school on schedule would be challenging. So, I decided to be proactive.
A few weeks before school started, we began to “practice” our morning routine.
I eased us into getting up earlier and getting ready quicker. I planned well the evening before to avoid unnecessary surprises.
And I thought we were ready.
But I didn’t account for how my own attitude would affect the entire process.
A big problem…
I get up at 5:00 am every weekday. (Remember, I move pretty slow.) Then, I wake up my kids at 6:00 am. (They don’t move that fast either.)
Our goal was to be heading out the door by 7:00. That would allow time for drop-off at two different buildings. And get me to work on schedule as well.
Well, those first few mornings didn’t go as planned.
I’ll spare you the details. But let’s just say that despite all the planning and practicing, we didn’t meet our goal.
I couldn’t seem to move fast enough. No matter how hard I tried, we were always in a rush.
And I could feel the frustration starting to grow.
It wasn’t long before all that pent-up irritation started spilling out. I constantly nagged my kids to hurry up. And I snapped at them when their pace slowed for even a second.
I frowned more than I smiled. I was short on grace. And patience was absolutely nowhere to be found.
It was not the way I wanted to start our day.
Admittedly, my kids weren’t completely without fault. They had work to do in the area of learning how to move quickly too.
But I knew the responsibility for our less than peaceful morning lay mostly with me. My attitude and actions were setting the tone for the day.
And it wasn’t a good one.
All the things…
To make the situation even more frustrating, I thought I was doing everything possible to set us up for success.
Lunches and snacks were packed the night before. Everyone’s clothes were laid out.
Breakfast was planned. Backpacks were ready.
I got up long before my children. And I had trained them well on how to get ready independently.
So, why were our mornings still a mad rush that left me feeling anything but peaceful?
I began to realize the problem had little to do with our morning routine. And much more to do with my heart.
The stress of going back to work had gotten to me. The changes taking place had put me in state of overwhelm.
And all those unsettled feelings reared their ugly head when faced with the pressure of getting us to school on time.
After I realized the source of my frustration, I started asking myself why I wasn’t handling it better.
It wasn’t the first time I’d been presented with a challenging parenting situation.
I’d faced months of sleepless nights with a difficult infant. Navigated countless confrontations with stubborn toddlers. Persevered through seemingly endless days of tedious potty training.
And as all moms know, that’s only the tip of the iceberg!
While I didn’t sail through any of that effortlessly, I kept my cool more often than not.
I knew how to be a more patient mom back then. So why was this one issue causing me to come apart at the seams?
Read “The Importance of Rest in a Mom’s Busy Schedule” for inspiration on finding balance in mom life.
The answer to my problem…
I’m not quite sure when the revelation came. But it didn’t take long for the Lord to show me the root of my problem.
I’d planned well and practiced plenty. But, I had somehow forgotten to include the single most important thing I needed to start my day off right.
God.
In my efforts to get everyone fed, clothed, and out the door, I hadn’t left any room for my daily quiet time.
And I couldn’t possibly need it more than I did on those mornings!
Skipping morning Bible reading and prayer meant I was destined to handle the pressures of the day all on my own. The success or failure of our morning routine relied entirely on my own strength.
And clearly that wasn’t going well.
I knew the importance of starting my day with Jesus. But I’d convinced myself that I simply didn’t have time to squeeze in one more thing.
Especially when we were already late more times than we weren’t.
Yet it only took a split second of soul searching before I knew even that was a poor excuse.
The truth was simple. I was doing everything right to prepare us ahead of time for a smooth morning. But I wasn’t taking the time to prepare my heart.
And that made all the difference.
How to be a more patient mom…
Obviously, it was time for a new plan. One that included time with God as part of my morning routine.
Time that would remind me of how to be a more patient mom.
I was already getting up early. I couldn’t set my alarm clock back any more or I wouldn’t get enough sleep to make it through the day.
So, I decided to make a few other small changes. Cut a couple of non-essential things out of my getting ready process.
And make sure to hop out of bed as soon as my alarm went off instead of enjoying a few extra minutes to wake up slowly.
I knew it wasn’t necessarily the amount of time I spent with God that was important. It was getting my priorities right that mattered.
My time with Jesus needed to be meaningful, purposeful, and intentional. And it had to be CONSISTENT.
Even a short scripture and five minutes of praying could set my heart right.
But I couldn’t miss it or skip it. Not if I wanted to approach the morning with the kind of grace and peace that would start everyone’s day well.
And not if I wanted to master how to be a more patient mom. Even when stress was high and time was tight.
Victory is coming…
I’ve got to be honest. I didn’t develop this new plan until the school year was over.
As I write this, summer’s in full swing. The rushed and harried school mornings are on pause.
For now.
But they’ll return soon. And with them, the temptation to fall back into old habits.
Sleeping five minutes too long and skipping the Bible. Or letting the to-dos of my day distract from much-needed prayer time.
Yet I know the importance of starting my day off right.
I’ve seen what happens when I don’t. And it’s not something I care to repeat.
My kids deserve better. So do I.
And so does the Lord.
And while I’m sure it won’t be easy, I’m determined to get it right this time.
I’ve clearly proven that I don’t have the patience to make it our the door each morning with my sanity still intact and a smile on my face.
But God does.
He has all the patience I need. And He’s waiting with open arms for me to come and receive it.
Starting my day with Him is the only way to start my day right.
Do you have any more tips on how to be a more patient mom? Please share in the comments below!
Leave a Reply