My husband is pretty funny. At least I think he is.
One of his favorite things to do is make me smile. And even better for him if he can get me to laugh.
Yet quite often, other people don’t find him quite as amusing as I do. They don’t always laugh at his jokes. Or crack a smile at one of his off-the-cuff comments.
But that’s okay with us. We love to laugh together…even if no one else is joining in!
Because life is hard. And it sometimes has this way of stealing the joy in marriage.
Difficult seasons can make us forget to simply have fun with each other.
To laugh and joke and be silly. To find humor in little mistakes or minor inconveniences.
A shared sense of humor is what draws many couples together. Finding someone you can laugh your way through life with is a huge blessing.
And keeping that joy in marriage is essential to navigating the ups and downs that come with every relationship.
So, here’s a few ideas to up the happiness level in your relationship. Putting these habits into practice should help you laugh together more often than not.
10 Habits to Increase Joy in Marriage…
Make time to plan ahead.
Stress in the number one joy stealer.
You might be surprised at how much stress you can avoid by simply planning ahead.
Set aside time to plan together. Look at your schedule on a regular basis. Figure out a simple system that allows both of you to keep track of your family calendar.
My husband and I take a few minutes on Sundays to go over our schedule for the week. We enter any necessary information into our smartphones and set alerts for important reminders.
We look ahead to make sure we’re both on the same page. Then, we figure out how to divide up responsibilities for whatever needs to get done.
Simply having our schedule organized and written down relieves so much pressure. We’re more confident and capable because we’re tackling it together.
Protect your schedule.
An overpacked schedule is a surefire way to lose your joy. It’s impossible to find peace when you’re constantly running from one activity to another.
The truth is, if you don’t even have time to stop and look each other in the eyes, you probably won’t be doing much laughing together!
Be very protective of your schedule. Decide on a reasonable activity level for your family that still allows you to spend quality time together. And then stick to those decisions.
If necessary, limit the amount of extracurricular activities for your children. And do the same for yourself. Most likely, this will be hard to do. But it is possible!
(Need some help creating and keeping a balanced schedule for your family? Read this post.)
Get really good at saying no. And don’t feel guilty about it.
Make sure there’s room in your schedule for your family to breathe. To enjoy each other. And to spend time together without rushing off to the next best thing.
Get enough rest.
Our bodies were created with a need for rest. It sounds simple right? Just go to bed on time.
Yet I don’t know about you, but I can never seem to get the amount of sleep I need. I’m an expert at finding one more thing to do before going to bed. Or taking on a little bit too much for what I can accomplish in one evening.
It’s hard to find joy when you’re tired. Impatience and irritation creep in quickly when you’re exhausted.
I’m constantly reminding myself that finishing that to-do list is far less important than giving my body the rest it needs.
(Check out this post on finding rest in the middle of busy mom life.)
Have regular date nights.
Dating shouldn’t stop after the wedding day! One of the best ways to keep joy in marriage is establishing regular date nights.
Prioritizing time together strengthens your relationship. Investing in each other prioritizes your marriage.
(Find more on the importance of dating your husband here.)
My husband and I date once a week. Usually, it happens at home after our kids are in bed. But we both look forward to that evening all week long.
(Need some creative and inexpensive date night ideas? Start here.)
Having fun together relieves stress and brings you closer. Hold hands. Talk. Laugh. And just enjoy each other’s company.
Take marriage getaways.
Regular date nights are an essential part of marriage. But you can take it up another level with marriage getaways.
Can you imagine an entire weekend (or longer) with nothing to do but simply be together? Talk about a marriage booster!
(Read more about the benefits of getting away together here.)
We try to make a marriage getaway happen at least once a year. They’re not easy to plan. But they’re always worth it.
And they increase the joy in marriage like few other things can.
(Want tips for how to make a marriage getaway actually happen? Go here.)
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Life is full of big problems. Hard choices and difficult situations. One of the best things you can do for your marriage is learn how to let the little things go.
Those small inconveniences and minor mistakes can drive us crazy if we let them. But they can also be a great opportunity to find a little humor.
Learn how to laugh about the small stuff that goes wrong. Some of your most frustrating moments just might turn into your favorite funny stories a few years down the road.
(Read one of my favorite funny moments here.)
Be hard to offend.
Marriage is almost never without conflict. Disagreements are to be expected. After all, two very different people are trying to find common ground on pretty much everything!
A successful marriage works through confrontation in a way that honors both people. Mastering that takes practice, humility, and a whole lot of self-control.
It also helps if you can learn to be someone that isn’t easily offended. Remind yourself to see things from his perspective. Believe he has your best interests at heart.
There are many things I’ve discovered in over a decade of marriage. One of the most helpful has been that not every fight is worth the effort it takes to have it!
Refuse to let offense steal the joy in marriage.
Give out plenty of grace.
Inevitably, there will be times when you have every right to be offended. But it’s important to make your opinion known in a way that still shows respect to your husband.
Then forgive quickly, extend grace into the situation, and move on.
Revisit the past.
Remember those dating days? Or what about the time you first met? Can you recall the emotions on your wedding day?
It’s so easy to let the weight of raising a family make us forget about the love story that started it all. Make a habit of talking about your early years together.
Share stories with your children. Look at old pictures with your husband. If possible, revisit places from your first few dates or return to your honeymoon destination.
Remembering why and how you fell in love is sure to bring a little joy in marriage!
Dream together.
While revisiting the past is fun, dreaming about the future is just as important. It doesn’t matter if the goal is big, small, or unlikely.
Spend time just talking about the deepest desires of your hearts. Those things you long to see happen in your marriage, family, or life in general.
When my husband and I first started seriously pursuing our dream of owning a country home, we often took drives into rural areas and just talked about our future land.
We admired many beautiful houses and locations even though we weren’t even close to purchasing one of our own.
We still don’t have that country home. But we haven’t stopped dreaming about it. Hoping and working towards that dream brings us a whole lot of joy.
Never lose the joy in marriage…
Life has this funny way of turning out much differently than you expect. Your marriage most likely isn’t what you envisioned it to be when planning your wedding.
The twists and turns of married life can be stressful and challenging. The unexpected can lead to disappointment. Unwelcome change can leave you discouraged.
Challenges can quickly steal your joy and harden your heart.
But only if you let them.
It is possible to keep the joy in marriage. Regardless of what life throws your way.
God designed marriage as a source of happiness. A place of safety and deep contentment. But it does take some work on our part to create that kind of place.
So, make it a goal to put a smile on your husband’s face as often as you can. And who knows…maybe you’ll even coax out a laugh or two.
Leave a Reply